My first brush with suicide
3:30 AM - and I am wide awake, beyond imagination lying on the terrace,
stripped completely and getting wet.
With raindrops piercing my eyes,
I am tryin hard to keep them open,
to test the resilience that my eyes would have against the forces of nature.
Failing completely, I open my mouth to take the copious amount of piss
that the dark sky above has to offer to this mankind.
Taste, taste the rain, its marvellous, it purifies my soul for whatever it is...
for whoever it is...
I feel like one of them,
an experience looking at the sky, f
eeling so miniscule
in front of the vastness of the creation
that had engulfed me then,
forever maybe.
At that moment I stopped thinking as flashes of memory getting in and out of my mind,
playing hide and seek with my grey cells...
calling me...
to another world,
drifting in and out of the good days and
the bad days of my eventful and
rather exciting 26 years of life.
Asking me questions,
which better left unanswered and unexplained.
Dumb in a whole glorified world of self obsession,
I praise myself for what I am not
and
deprecate for what I have been...
But its not worth,
as the self destructive button has been put on
and I have thrown away the remote
into obscurity...
415AM -
I get up to start my travel towards the end of the terrace...
look down,
think...
can i?
should i?
Nahhhh!!! Not worth... to jump,
below is a jungle of concrete...
it would hurt before I pass out.
I would wait for a softer ground someday...
And so... I am sitting here recording my first
brush to attempt suicide... 500 AM
All this while,
a wet damaged guitar was asking me
to drown into the
oblivion of its
strings...
stripped completely and getting wet.
With raindrops piercing my eyes,
I am tryin hard to keep them open,
to test the resilience that my eyes would have against the forces of nature.
Failing completely, I open my mouth to take the copious amount of piss
that the dark sky above has to offer to this mankind.
Taste, taste the rain, its marvellous, it purifies my soul for whatever it is...
for whoever it is...
I feel like one of them,
an experience looking at the sky, f
eeling so miniscule
in front of the vastness of the creation
that had engulfed me then,
forever maybe.
At that moment I stopped thinking as flashes of memory getting in and out of my mind,
playing hide and seek with my grey cells...
calling me...
to another world,
drifting in and out of the good days and
the bad days of my eventful and
rather exciting 26 years of life.
Asking me questions,
which better left unanswered and unexplained.
Dumb in a whole glorified world of self obsession,
I praise myself for what I am not
and
deprecate for what I have been...
But its not worth,
as the self destructive button has been put on
and I have thrown away the remote
into obscurity...
415AM -
I get up to start my travel towards the end of the terrace...
look down,
think...
can i?
should i?
Nahhhh!!! Not worth... to jump,
below is a jungle of concrete...
it would hurt before I pass out.
I would wait for a softer ground someday...
And so... I am sitting here recording my first
brush to attempt suicide... 500 AM
All this while,
a wet damaged guitar was asking me
to drown into the
oblivion of its
strings...
posted by cyberoam at 9:11 PM
7 Comments:
JUST WHT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!!! wait till i get my hands round ur neck..if that doesnt kill you u are free to explore other actions.. ASS!!!
Explore other actions!! Wid u??
something i once read -
My heart is so small
it's almost invisible.
How can You place
such big sorrows in it?
"Look," He answered,
"your eyes are even smaller,
yet they behold the world."
fida . . .
@fida:Pls be simple when u talk to me... I am not very profound as u r
Modesty is the only sure bait when you are fishing for praise!
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help .. .
smile :)
fida . . . . .
i meant to write options but i was so pissed at you!!! damn! sheesh.. wht a typo.. and KEEP ON DREAMING!
@mona: its wht u write is wht u actually think in ur mind... its ok, i knw u always liked my actions!!!
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