Some musings

It has been a while that I have written things that are nice, funny and humorous. I chanced through going to all the posts and realised what an ass I was to write such stuff all the time which never were positive but filled with negativity. So I have decided to make this atleast positive in certain respects.

The reason is not so sudden, has its own reasons though. The reasons have disturbed me, made me saddened to know that somewhere things are not right as they are supposed to be. I have always looked forward, rather upto someone during times when i had been down and out. To see that someone out and out terribly has been a feeling that kills me inside. Whenever I had been down, I had a support to get myself up and moving. She has been tremendous, pillar of strength, finding solutions to my problems, cheering me up. She has this uncanny ability to get me up from slumber always.

Now when I see her down, I feel helpless. To the situation that it's not in my control to get her out of it. Did i help her ever? Ya a lots of times... there was a time when i had taught her the meaning of life, the meaning of pride and how to forget past and move on.. how to take pride in oneself...

I want her to be back again in the same way... finding purpose to work... to live... to laugh... to enjoy... coz her smile means a lot to me... her smile gives me life... her positivity is the reason i am here today, capable of writing anything... i want her to be positive, i want me to help her to regain that... i desperately want her to be back to her own as she was earlier... i want her to be HER...becoz not only i am lonely without her presence, but also lonely that one who taught me to live life has forgot to live a life of her own...i want her to do what she wants, what she loves... i wish all my wants out here got a positive result :)